Two Years

Two years ago today I had my surgery and changed my life.  In this time I have gone from being well over 300 pounds to now being in the normal category's for everything and my weight stays between 155 & 160 pending on the day.  I have found that a 5 pound bounce range is normal for most people. My surgeons ultimate end goal for me was to hopefully reach 170lbs and so since I have surpassed that they are very happy with me and say that I am a major success story.  I have lost almost 100% of my excess weight.

The last two years have had their ups and downs, good days and bad but in the end I wouldn't change what I did.  I have been able to go from watching life on the sidelines to actively taking part in life with my kids.    I have been able to do things that I never thought I would be able to do again like when I went roller skating for the first time in 20 years.  I still have a few things that I struggle with.  I still have days where I want to eat junk and so I let myself have a little bit of something here or there.  For me I cannot live a life of total depravation or else it will catch up with me and I will lose control.  I have to live where I am good 95% of the time and have a treat once in a while.  The thing is though I have learned how to be ok with an occasional treat and let that be enough instead of eating till I feel sick just because something tastes good or sounds good to me.  My biggest struggle is still with how I see myself.  As I have mentioned before when I look at pictures I can see the difference in me but when I look down at myself I see the saggy skin that still looks like rolls of fat to me.  When I see that I still feel like I did at 300+ pounds even though part of my brain knows better.

None the less, this last two years has flown by and I will be forever grateful that God allowed me to be able to have this surgery to help me get myself in check.  The health benefits that I have experienced far outweigh the fear I had going into surgery and the bit of pain through recovery.  Without a doubt this was the best decision I have ever made for myself.