Pre-op and stress

The pre-op appointment went well. It was the usual stuff talking about what to expect at the hospital and what to bring etc. Then I met with the surgeon and he reassured me that he was confident that all will go well. That was pretty basic, what I was not expecting was the emotional roller coaster that I have been on now that I am just two weeks away from surgery. I am good with the surgery itself but my emotions are nuts because I am just so stinking mad at me for needing surgery to get to a healthy weight. Why can't I just eat less and be ok on my own? Why did I let myself get so far gone? It would be easy to blame the eating habits that I grew up with but as an adult I have not done much to improve it. I still find myself eating just simply too much and not feeling when I should stop.  That's why this surgery is so important to me so that I will feel when I need to stop and have the restriction that I need to get in control finally.  I pray that I am one of the ones who has the strong restriction.

Freaking out

So yesterday I got the call with the date for the surgery and it's in just over two weeks!! My preop appointment is tomorrow!!  This is really real now and while I'm excited I'm kinda freaking out at the same time. Truth be told I'm scared. Not so much about the surgery itself but about the fact that my whole life is about to change. I have tried to lose weight so many times, what if I fail yet again? The thought of that is terrifying to me. I feel like I can't stop thinking about the surgery. I feel like no matter what is going on in my life at the moment I have this big cloud floating above my head that says SURGERY and so it's always hanging over my head. It's not a bad thing it just is overwhelming. Tomorrow I will go for all the preop and will update more then. 

Approved!!!

I got the call yesterday and my insurance approved me!!!!! Super excited right now and feel totally blessed. This process normally takes at least six months to get to the approval stage and mine was less then two full months. I went for the first dr appointment on July 9th and was approved on September 3rd. Now of course it would have taken longer but I had already been working on weight loss with WW and so my primary doctor used that time toward my six month required weight loss program. Now I'm just waiting to schedule my pre-op appointment and the surgery!!!