Freaking out

So yesterday I got the call with the date for the surgery and it's in just over two weeks!! My preop appointment is tomorrow!!  This is really real now and while I'm excited I'm kinda freaking out at the same time. Truth be told I'm scared. Not so much about the surgery itself but about the fact that my whole life is about to change. I have tried to lose weight so many times, what if I fail yet again? The thought of that is terrifying to me. I feel like I can't stop thinking about the surgery. I feel like no matter what is going on in my life at the moment I have this big cloud floating above my head that says SURGERY and so it's always hanging over my head. It's not a bad thing it just is overwhelming. Tomorrow I will go for all the preop and will update more then.