600 days

So today marks 600 days in a row that I have logged every bite that goes into my mouth on my fitness tracker app.  I am not totally sure as to why but this has felt like such a milestone for me to hit 600 days in a row.  I am sure that there are many people out there who have logged for years and years without missing a day and so they have numbers in the thousands but to me this 600 mark is a big deal.  I think that part of it is because I have never committed to keeping on track and losing weight like I have this time. 

Of course the surgery is a huge factor in that but despite the surgery this process still takes a lot of commitment.  They say a lot in the online forums that when they do surgery it is on your stomach and not your head.  This statement seems like silly common sense when you look at the literal side of it but after having the surgery this statement takes on real meaning.  You come to realize that the surgery, while it helps so very much, only does limit the volume you can eat at one time not what you eat or how often you eat junk.  For many people, like myself, after a while the hunger comes back and even though you are not physically able to eat as much at one time you still have to learn to get yourself in control so that you don't graze all day long.  There are so many people out there who have had the various weight loss procedures and they end up gaining all the weight back and then some because they lose the battle with their mind.  They let the mind games win because they have lost so much weight in the beginning that they think they will never gain the weight back but then a year down the road and they are back to where they started because they justify eating candy or chips or whatever their vice is here and there all day long and so while they may not be eating a whole bag of chips in one setting they are still eating that whole bag of chips over a few hours. It is easy to justify a little here or there and then fall into that pit of eating junk all the time.

That is what is scary to me.  The idea of the possibility of falling back into that cycle of eating junk then justifying it then living with the guilt of it then falling back into those old patterns more and more and gaining back a lot of weight.  This is why I feel that my 600 day mark on my fitness tracker is such a huge deal to me.  My sister made a statement to me in our conversation the other day about how she knows that I religiously track every bite that goes into my mouth and she was saying how that is something to be proud of.  I have to agree because with tracking literally everything that goes into my mouth I am holding myself accountable so that I can identify if I start to fall back into old habits and I can see trends of how what I eat impacts my weight.  I am not perfect and I have treats here and there but I strive to eat right at least 90% of the time, but the point is that even when I have that treat I log it in and make myself acknowledge it. When dealing with food addiction it truly can be a life long battle but it is a battle I intend on being victorious through.